Do I Really Have To Have A 'Vampires' Tag?

Remember dinosaurs? They were really popular in the 90s, as children correctly intuited that the human race was vast, lumbering, and doomed. With vestigial dangly arms. Now, God help us, it’s vampires, who future historians will say represent our view that we inhabit a world where we are simultaneously bored with everything life has to offer, and desperate to have it last forever.

In order to avoid feeling bad, the modern Vampire can’t die in sunlight, but does turn sparkly. Whew. Almost had a story point. That was close.