Mr. Seth MacFarlane earned a lot of credibility with Ted, so much so that Ted 2, or even A Million Ways to Die in the West, could cause us to stop hoping for the best.

Ted 2 is an easy one to write about, in that there are a few lousy gags, a few good gags, and lot of talking meant to be serious.

Extremely strange I wish you could see but it’s only in France and it’s already left the theaters anyway Terminator ad for something called ‘Sam’, Like all good ads, I have no idea what that is. It is cut together in the classic way of scenes from the film, and teens reacting. It felt like 1984 all over again.

It is distinguished by its ability to know what a good joke is and proceed to ruin it. To wit, one of the best gags from the original were the names for the various strains of marijuana pot, as my friend Sage used to call it. In this case, ‘Here Comes Autism’ is not poor. On the other hand, when Mr. Mark Wahlberg smokes ‘Help Me Get Home’, actually showing him needing help getting home spoils it. Likewise the strains of the theme of Jurassic Park playing over the discovery of a massive field of the pot is just as good, and just as ruined as the characters explain to the audience what’s going on.

Should have seen it with Joeystarr.

Given my love of the original, I would also like to say the following. The beauty of Ted, besides being funny, was it’s taking seriously the idea of love. The story of the original had resonance because the living teddy bear represented a kind of friendship we’re supposed to leave behind. The second has no such intersection, and withers. Ted 2‘s oddly serious story, about granting Ted human rights (the character, not the film, which by the way, would be a good story) is a failure because it doesn’t recognize that we already believe him to be human. Or, if Homer Simpson and Wilson are any guide, way better than human. Humans’re always betraying us by not living up to our unrealistic expectations. And having unrealistic expectations. Away with their rights!

Profits!

Losses!