Another thing critics don’t get right, well, if something goes wrong in my life, or if nothing goes wrong but I’m slightly annoyed, the precious prose of uber-hack Ms. Manohla Dargis floats above my eyes. At this point they’re to blame for global weirding, the existence of the term ‘global weirding’, the failure of the royal guard to stop Franz Ferdinard…from charting number three in 2004, and my writing about how stupid critics are.

True Story

Actually the last one is technically correct, if you blame the critic for annoying me, rather that my being annoyed. I prefer to see the glass as half-irked. In any case, they never write about snacks and how integral they are to the experience. They make you forget that you’re watching the trailers that are going to spoil the next movie you see. Trailers which critics will never…oh never mind.