or The Praise/Praiseworthiness Differential

Face it: films that are shit, Hugo, Inception, The English Patient, even Django Unplugged, which is just mediocre, are made worse by the expectations that the critics imbue them with.  

This makes you shallow because you care about the opinion of others, and me shallow because I don’t want to be like you and I am.  What makes us even stupider is that this fake controversy is built into the system, that having a critic who has zero connection with his or her audience is the reality show that I watch.  Think about it.  That’s how they pick them, to like tiny unwatchable real-life ‘character’ pieces, and ignore the pleasure of the Big Explosion.  If you employed a critic who either liked good films, or even popular ones, what would be the point in reading it?  It’s like a newspaper with just good news.  Or a world with just good news.  Who would want to live there?

Anyway, this will always be a factor in the final calculation.  Critics could never do it because they’re all idiots, employed just to create…right.  They got me again.