Dredd 3D

It was not the movie I wanted to see, but I did see it. So I must have wanted to.

You will believe a man cannot take off his helmet.

Dredd 3D

3 October 2012 @ The Brighton Odeon

$8.50 or, if one must be prosiac, and one must...★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Reported on 20th of October, 2012

I admit to being a bit disappointed by Dredd 3D. 

I got a feeling from the trailer that Mr. Karl Urban would not take off his helmet. And he didn’t! But is not-helmet-taking-off enough for an entire film? Maybe! There were a lot of missed opportunities for Narrative Action Sequences, including a shockingly dull, motorcycle go, car go, motorcycle go, car go, shoot gun, shoot gun, motorcycle go, car go chase sequence. I would have made Michael Bay proud. Maybe not proud. Interested? Non-plussed? Wait a second. Michael Bay doesn’t have feelings. Except for the ones I hurt just now. Sorry, Michael Bay.

Nevertheless, and for reasons that I can’t explain and therefore scare me, I had a good time at Dredd, even with the headache inducing 3D. Whoever was behind it did make the film they wanted to make, and like the less successful Margaret or more so Cosmopolis, admiration is enough to get me through. That and the very hard R violence. There’s more than a fair share of bits worth the price of admission. The production design seems deliberately not terribly different from the present, a kind of Croydon three years from now (sorry, Croydon. You definitely have feelings).

There’s an inexplicable blow-job fake-out psychic dream sequence (and if that doesn’t make you curious…no, not curious…wait, are you the one that doesn’t have feelings?), slow-motion gunshot wounds, and heads in close up riddled with bullets. Of course I liked it. What the hell was I talking about?

The Take


Head riddled with bullets in slow-motion
Homeless guy squish gag
Throat crush gag
This is the only film where you’ll see a psychic blow-job.
The girl is not a complete moron.
Genuinely original production design
With apologies to Mr. Joe Bob Briggs, 150 gallons of blood @ $0.01 a gallon.
Earns the shit of its cocksucking hard ‘R’
Total Profits
Girl is taken hostage. Are we still doing that?
Lack of attention to Narrative action.
Total Losses


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