Kaitlin...Don’t

As witnessed, and then exaggerated in Waitrose and the piece on Green Lantern, respectively, the following exchange:

 

Let’s not call it criticism then; let’s call it negative growth counter-positive reinforcement….synergy. I’m not angry at our yellow energy octo-guy anyway. It’s the parents that really piss me off. Like the children of today (and totally unlike my generation, who were never spoiled in any way) I think we can safely say that Green Lantern was not so much made, as it arose out of the committee focus group groupthink equivalent of ‘Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. I mean it, Kaitlin, don’t. Don’t do that, Kaitlin. Stop right now. Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. Kaitlin, don’t. No, really. Stop. No, Stop! I MEAN IT. I’M GOING TO SHIT ACID AND REIGN DOWN THE WRATH OF HELL IF YOU DON’T STOP RIGHT NOW!

‘Kaitlin, don’t.’

 

The ‘Kaitlin…Don’t’ rule applies with the idea that children in films are automatically sympathetic, and further confer sympatheticalness upon all characters related to them. This makes perfect sense since said characters spend the rest of the film avoiding their kids. I mean, making the world a safer place…so they can avoid them. I mean…