Tempting though it may to title this ‘Hooray for Boobies!’, I cannot be caught plagiarizing The Bloodhound Gang. I didn’t say I didn’t do it, I said, I can’t be caught. Boobies, like pretty much anything else in movies, are nice to look at. Hooray!

Godammit. You caught me.

In the age of The New Puritan, we are supposed to look away, look away, as children may be present. Their parents paid a lot of money to have them see people set on fire, ripped in half and gouged, so the upset is understandable. I know I should be ashamed, because I am ashamed, but I’m going to keep looking.

Boobies, by the way, includes penises and vaginas. Because that’s how powerful they are.