Writing movies and trying to make them is fine, besides the obvious self-delusion. Which is totally fine, and I don’t know why you even brought it up. But it does interfere with writing this damn thing, the point of which, at least in retrospect, was to figure out how to write better movies. And yes, the reason you waited ever so long for this article-là was the cognitive overwhelm finishing a script that, yes, that’s right, after fifteen years, I might make. Thanks blog, for telling me how wonderful I am.

But if that was the purpose all along – to find a purpose where there wasn’t one in the first place, that is – there is a second problem with writing about movies to learn how to make movies, and that’s when you see a movie that isn’t very good, and you don’t know why. The purpose then becomes finding a reason, so you can push forward anyway. Because it’s not so much that you have to be self-deluded to make a movie, is that you have to practice at it.

With such a delicate balance at stake, why would I risk it with a viewing of Magic in the Moonlight, which isn’t very good, and would confound me as to why? Well, I was in Bretagne à ce moment-là, and looking at various overpriced beach shacks in case I can’t stay in Britain. There are two important things to consider, is there a beach for Emily, and, secondly, are there movies in English for Emily’s Support System? As it happens, there are, with Dinard even having the various art movies in VO. With Mr. Woody Allen and the brothers Coen considered art films.

M12 from Maison Moreau orange praline! Also, I was bored!

And, despite their extremely tiresome love of dubbing, the French do love movies and it shows. The Tuesday 15h30 screening of a fairly well-documentedly terrible film was packed, and a very nice theater as well. This is, understand, a town of maybe five thousand people, half of which are gone in any months but July, August and Easter. Now the screen was crap, possibly because they still show actual film there. Dinard is the home to the British Film Festival in France, and since self-delusion works just as well for house-buying, this is my excuse for their not having perforated the screen with the moire dots you need to show digital. That being said, the WC is in the front, and there are three high end chocolatiers in town. I bought the M8, which was they said ‘crositillaint’. As it turned out, this meant it had pop-rocks.

This is a good word to know.

Nevertheless, a perfectly well shot and tolerably acted film, Mr. Firth giving his stuffy all, and a nice scene at the end where the retired to France Aunt talking about how the girl not being right for you convinces you that she is. For all his faults, Mr. Allen writes to the ending, which at least he’s got one. Unfortunately, there’s all that other stuff, which amounts to a lot of waiting around listening to what amounts to whatever producer in Mr. Allen’s head giving him notes, which in this case comes across like a call and response musical.

I am rational and don’t believe in such things. 

Well, you are rational, and don’t believe in such things.

Is he rational? Might he believe in such things?

In point of fact…ah never mind.

Because, and here’s the reason I would give for it not being very good, writing towards the ending can also mean there’s a lot of watch-looking before that comes about. And this may be the difference between the short and long métrage. For all its faults, Rome offers good food and tax breaks with its four stories had an understanding that this was all that these stories could offer – about twenty minutes. Disjointed and hit or miss, but there was that understanding.

Magic in the Moonlight is, or maybe should have been, a romcom. This is can be actually good, like the perfectly well made and appropriately forgettably titled I Forgot the Title but Harry Potter’s in it. That might seem like a bit, but if I actually took the time to look up the title, you wouldn’t know what movie I was talking about; this way you do. Anyway, there are certain beats you hit in a romcom, and secrets to be had and, most importantly, wacky characters to fill the time with ‘They’re still saying “girlfriend” even as a reference to not being funny…girlfriend”…moments.

And maybe this is the lesson I’ll take away, though whether or not this translate to the screen, scratch that, translates to the thing that sits in various grant granters and Canal Moins (Luxembourg) unopened inboxes, is anyone’s guess and the lesson is this: energy. Two characters is not enough. I’m actually referring to the Aunt and Mr. Firth, as Ms. Stone is not a character, and seems, as an actress, to know this. Throw a lot of balls in the air, godammit, even if it is two characters. And as much as this could be the usual complaint about a lack of wit, and that’s valid, there’s just not enough material. I mean, who told him you can make a feature film with three acts?

Profits!

Losses!