San Andreas

26 June, 2015

I liked San Andreas, possibly for all the reasons to hate it.

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Doritos flavor X-13D

10 May, 2013

Snacks and how integral they are to the experience. Of snacking.

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Twilight: 3.1

17 December, 2011

I apologize in advance for bothering to write an entire piece on Twilight 3.1

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Jurassic World

26 June, 2015

They Saved Hitler's Brain for This????

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The Year of the Apeshit Crazy Ape-Horse

21 April, 2014

A time when weird arty films just aren't weird enough, and studio pictures are making purple mud sense.

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The Lost Hydra

27 April, 2014

This is the great unsolved mystery of Lost, that people still mention it in their resumés.

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Terminator: Genisys

29 July, 2015

It’s better than T4. This is a meaningless expression.

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The spirit is willing...the body to science!

Utterly crushed, but terribleness of Foxcatcher, and wonderfulness of What We Do in the Shadows gives me hope for humanity. As long as they remain harmless images.

Recent Films

A Polygon for Radio +

Terminator: Genisys

29 July, 2015

  • InsideOutFeat Inside Out

    29 July, 2015

    Don't you want to just punch me? After you've clicked through of course.
  • JurassicWorldFeat Jurassic World

    26 June, 2015

    They Saved Hitler's Brain for This????

Recent Rules

The Second Peter Hyams Rule +

The Second Peter Hyams Rule

4 January, 2015

  • ShouldSaySomethingFeat He Should Say Something Like

    2 December, 2014

    When you internalize the shoulder demon.
  • LostHydraFeat The Lost Hydra

    27 April, 2014

    This is the great unsolved mystery of Lost, that people still mention it in their resumés.

Recent Articles

Having to Explain Irony +

The Timecop Effect

10 May, 2015

  • CommercialsFeat Missing the commercial break

    25 March, 2015

    We were warned of MTV-style editing, but this seems less a threat now than an empty promise.
  • Soul2 My soul

    19 February, 2015

    I ain't Wall•E, but he gives me something to shoot for.