Damsels In Distress

21 June, 2012

For better of worse, the most Stiltman-y of the Stiltmans.

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Self/Less

25 August, 2015

Could have been good. It just needed the quotes.

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American Ultra

25 August, 2015

Botched. That's the word.

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The Lost Hydra

27 April, 2014

This is the great unsolved mystery of Lost, that people still mention it in their resumés.

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Blended

14 June, 2014

So slight, it couldn't even get made in the 90s.

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Unfriended

25 August, 2015

On one hand, Unfriended is a pretty good film, on the other, it will save society

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The Year of the Apeshit Crazy Ape-Horse

21 April, 2014

A time when weird arty films just aren't weird enough, and studio pictures are making purple mud sense.

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The spirit is willing...the body to science!

Utterly crushed, but terribleness of Foxcatcher, and wonderfulness of What We Do in the Shadows gives me hope for humanity. As long as they remain harmless images.

Recent Films

The Poster Moment +

Microbe et Gasoil

25 August, 2015

  • Ted2Feat Ted 2

    25 August, 2015

    Distinguished by its ability to know what a good joke is and proceed to ruin it.
  • SelfLessFeat Self/Less

    25 August, 2015

    Could have been good. It just needed the quotes.

Recent Rules

The Second Peter Hyams Rule +

The Second Peter Hyams Rule

4 January, 2015

  • ShouldSaySomethingFeat He Should Say Something Like

    2 December, 2014

    When you internalize the shoulder demon.
  • LostHydraFeat The Lost Hydra

    27 April, 2014

    This is the great unsolved mystery of Lost, that people still mention it in their resumés.

Recent Articles

It’s like Ra-yay-ain on a rainy day +

A Lazy Man's Irony

25 August, 2015

  • TimecopEffectFeat The Timecop Effect

    10 May, 2015

    Has the double advantage of being confusing, and excluding everyone who hasn’t seen Timecop.
  • CommercialsFeat Missing the commercial break

    25 March, 2015

    We were warned of MTV-style editing, but this seems less a threat now than an empty promise.